Check Your Receipt

Now you may think I'm nit-picking with that new shop over t'way - trust me I'm not, I'm quite impressed so far - but if you don't already check your till receipts then I think you should certainly check the ones you get from there.

It may just be teething problems, but my neighbour has had to go back four times having been overcharged, usually on buy 2 for ** offers or 'rollback' prices. We've had three discrepancies so far, the last one being just 19p so I didn't send grumpy back. Although, thinking about it, if they overcharged everyone by just 19p they would soon be quids in.

Asda, I think you may soon need 'trolley police', this morning there was one of your trolleys the other side of Queen Street recreation ground near Argyle Street, and this afternoon while I was waving the GOM off on one of his 'Santa' trips, a woman went slithering and sliding up the ramp to Pottery Lane. She was met there by a man on a bicycle who promptly took the crappy Asda bags off her trolley and transferred them to his superior Tesco bags. He then rode off with the shopping abandoning the trolley for anyone to play with - I may have shouted abuse through the window about 'twats dumping trolleys' at this point ... well, I think it was me - I don't know where the trolley is now and I care even less.

Of course, my Asda trolley is parked neatly on our back yard, ready to go back tomorrow ...

Update:

We've just been overcharged yet again on New Years eve.

Apples on offer at £1 a bag, the GOM paid £1.27. Asda, your computer does not match your shelf pricing ... please FIX IT!!

The Christmas Dinner List

We went to visit my mother at her care home the other teatime [just before I was treated to a night out by the grumpy old man], within seconds of walking into the room and her seeing who had just arrived to bore her now [father and sister already there], my mum promptly put down her sandwich, closed her eyes and fell asleep - I have this effect.

I'd barely dished out my Christmas cards when my sister handed me - no not a Christmas card, she is sticking to the 'no Christmas cards' rule suggested by me in one of my Scrooge moments last year - none other than a menu/list ...

'I've got fourteen for dinner, I've decided to delegate.' She announced, In essence this is a brilliant idea, there was the typed menu with names listed for who was in charge of preparing/cooking each item of food. I was down for carrots, sausage rolls, vol au vents and trifle [which is only carrots more than usual]. I noticed that my niece was down for crisps and nuts - very Denise Best [Royle Family].

My sister had wanted to cater for a large extended family Christmas even before they'd moved to their house just over a year ago. In fact the top of her list of requirements in her new-house-to-be, was a long room for the Christmas dinner table [yes I thought it was a bit 'Escape to the Country' where they always envisage Christmas with an open fire and huge alcove for the tree, blah blah]. Anyway, this didn't happen, she still ended up with two square-ish, albeit bigger and posher rooms.

The organiser of the event - aka my sister - informed us that the dining table is being moved into the lounge [supervised no doubt by said organiser]. If there isn't room for everyone [likely], the grumpy old man and myself - being the more peasanty relations - may end up sitting on a couple of beanbags in the garage, balancing a tray each on our knees [the garden furniture will already be in commission]. I may hold my carrots to ransom to prevent this.

'Do you want the carrots roasting? I'll do them with a smidgen of maple syrup, what about parsnips? ... oh Andrew's down for them oooh, also in maple syrup, great minds think alike' ... hang on a minute, where's your name? You're not down for anything!' ...

'Well I'm organising it all, I'll be there giving instructions, I can't be expected to do anything else'. This is the same sister who breaks up today for two weeks, the first week, ostensibly to 'organise Christmas'. Hmm, I'll let you know how it goes ...

Langley Mill Post office

Post Office Opening Times:
Mon - Fri ... 09.00 - 17.30
Saturday ... 09.00 - 12.30

Address:
Unit 2
Asda
Wesley Street
Langley Mill
NG16 4ED

[My GOM has just been to ask at the PO for their address as people keep searching on here for it]

For anyone that doesn't know already, the new post office at Langley Mill is open ... yet another grand opening [if they had one] I wasn't asked to officiate at. I'm starting to feel just as unimportant as I actually am [ha ha].

Anyone hoping to go to the new post office or that big shop next-door-but-two to them via the top of Bridge Street should really try to find a different route unless they're wearing wellies. We came back from visiting friends over the bridge this morning and there was a sludgy pond at the bottom of the ramp yet again - ugh, wet feet - made worse by Heanor Haulage keep going over the footpath with muddy wheels whilst they go about their business of noisily clearing crap, erecting fencing and making bonfires.

And a big thanks for the latter, I thought it was snowing again until I noticed that some of it was going up, then realised that it was your bloody ash, so another day of no washing because I can't have the window open for the dryer hose ... you stink Heanor Haulage - but not quite as much as me because I've just been hanging out of the window taking photos of your bloody bonfire - oh bugger, more washing!!!

Where was I? cough, cough, wheeze. Oh yes ... If you do happen to carry on down Pottery lane expecting to go anywhere via Wesley Street, forget it because Asda seem to OWN this street and have fenced it off at the top [this was pointed out by the somewhat annoyed friends we visited]. Also we'd all like to know when the improvements to Pottery Lane - that we were promised by Asda at the earliest 'we want to build YOU a store at Langley Mill' meeting - are going to happen.

The grumpy old man has been out every night this week, he decided to treat me last night and took me [and my debit card] with him. Don't get too excited because his idea of taking me out was to go to Asda, last time he took me out for an evenings entertainment, we went to Tesco, the time before that - it was a bit special, being a Friday - was Ikea. Hmm, my cup runneth over ...

Let It Snow!

Well, I can't honestly remember snow like this and I've been around - like, well - forever. On the other hand the grumpy old man can remember much worse snow, but as he says, they always seemed to do a better job of everything in the olden days, including the weather.

There has been a lot of pedestrian activity on Bridge Street with people walking to Asda - including me, I went yesterday for a bit of idle comfort food - frozen dumplings - and they'd run out. This meant that not only did I manage to spend over £30 and not get what I went for, but I also had to do dumplings the manual way by getting my fingers all sticky and floury - yeah, yeah I know I'm not meant to get gummed up to the eyebrows with suet, but this is me.

I might add that my home made dumplings were far better than the frozen variety - even with the addition of the pink work dye which no soap removes from my left hand in over a week, but amazingly suet does in seconds [note to self - wash hands in suet], so in future I will suffer the indignity of sticky hands [yuck] and use the old fashioned method of dumpling making ... or not.

The wheelie bins haven't been emptied, tut, you'd think they'd have struggled to get here to wake me up wouldn't you? I've since found out by doing a bit of light reading on t'interweb that we can put 3 extra bags of rubbish out with our bins next time but must still ensure the lids on the bins are closed  ... wheelie. Oh well 'rules is rules'  ...

Getting Excited!!

Oh yes, I'm getting in the Christmas mood ... after the almost total lack of Christmas lights in Langley Mill last year, things are bound to improve this year.

Well, you only have to read about Asda in Langley Mill donating £2,000 to Nottinghamshire's Eastwood switch on - I have to keep reading it because Google kindly sends me alerts whenever 'Asda Langley Mill' is mentioned on t'interweb. Ahem, 4 out of 5 times it's me that mentioned it ... but I digress.

If Asda in Langley Mill, DERBYSHIRE [oh yes it is] was that generous to a nearby town in a different county, just imagine what our Christmas lights and switch on event will be like in Langley Mill itself - where Asda actually is.

Oh I can't wait ...

Mini-Toton At Langley Mill

I know our sidings, complete with silver birches are on a much smaller scale than the ones at Toton. But when they bulldozed the trees there everyone seemed to be up in arms about it. Here it's gone relatively unnoticed and unremarked about [except by my friends, the grumpy old man and myself].

Am I to set up a one woman campaign by lying down in front of the bulldozer? I think not, I don't do mud and it's mostly too late. I wonder if anyone has asked the council if it's ok [for whoever now owns that bit of land] to do this tree felling? - by dumping Asda's excavated soil on it. Which is, incidentally [apart from the mountain], still about 2ft-3ft deep, although you can't tell from the photos. So there's still a lot more spreading/compacting/tree felling to do.

I know I used to walk my dog there - and lots of other people did too - until they put up a new fence and notices saying 'Private please keep out'.

At the risk of repeating myself - yet again ... What are the plans for these sidings? I don't know if I'm being thick or blind but I've seen nothing at AVBC except in the 'Scoping Survey Report' done for the Asda/Heanor Haulage plans, with the following quote ... 'The only area with ecological value was found in the area between the railway track and the perimeter wall of the industrial site ... This area is outside the site and walled off from the industrial area and not included in the development plan.

So what are they doing in it? ...

Peace And Quiet?

People keep saying ... 'Oooh, I bet it's lovely and quiet now Asda is done' or words in a similar vein ... IS IT BO****KS!!! And to prevent any poor bugger who asks me yet again from getting their head bitten off, I will explain what life is like now Asda has left us in peace.

There is the constant bleep-bloody-bleep of the bulldozer flattening trees and spreading Asda's excavated muck by the railway lines. There's the noise from two lorries whizzing [one much faster than the other, this driver must be a certified lunatic] across the FOOTPATH at the top of Bridge Street, around the back of our houses onto Heanor Haulage land to fetch the aforementioned muck. Plus the digger filling the lorries.

Then there's the resident roadsweeper ... up and down, up and down the back of Asda to stop the muck getting beyond Wesley Street. Unfortunately this roadsweeper doesn't clean the quagmire at the bottom of the ramp or the bit of footpath that the lorries are churning up. May I remind them here AGAIN!!!!! That it's a public footpath they're crossing at speed - not a construction site with attendant security/watchman on duty!

Oddly enough - and I don't know why, maybe a bit of a dispute or strike - but yesterday morning was peaceful until 10.56am. The four men were standing around with hands in pockets or poking about among the scrap. Even the roadsweeper sat idly with his engine running for three hours of inactivity, until a car came racing around the back and they all dashed to their respective vehicles, whereupon work started [damn] ... Oh how I relish those three hours of peace.

And now I've discovered why everything sounds extra noisy even with the bedroom window shut. This morning my curtains were billowing wildly plus the wind chime was jingling and I thought ...  'Well that's a bit odd'. Hmm, not as odd as you'd think, there's a crack in the wall all around the window where the weather and the noise is coming through and the wall has just crumbled near the sill.

The blackout blind had already been put up by the grumpy old man, but that's driving me potty because the bottom is rattling against the window frame in the breeze.

This crack in the wall must have happened when RG Group broke up the concrete in front of us - they didn't use a pneumatic drill to break this thick concrete, they hit it repeatedly with a digger scoop for over an hour [August 13th] until my fillings were rattling in my head and the cat went into hiding.

Oh chuffing heck! Bits of the bloody roof are dropping off now with the first real wind of the season ...

Avoid The Path From Pottery Lane To Bridge Street

If you're thinking of walking to that new shop in Langley Mill - or anywhere else for that matter - via the top of Bridge Street ... don't. When I took the above photo, a lady looked over and said that she'd better go a different way. It was a bit late for a lot of people, they'd already committed themselves with the end result being ... YUCK!

It's a disgusting muddy mess at the bottom of the ramp ... never mind the fact that you're likely to get killed by a lorry crossing the path every five minutes taking muck from Heanor Haulage to the old railway sidings to flatten the trees there.

You should see the state of MY trainers now and I didn't go quite as far as the ramp. Get our footpath and your act cleaned up please - whoever is responsible ...

I Love Tesco

I was woken by my new favourite swearword [Asda] at 5.38 this morning by a delivery lorry - and this was with the window shut, I couldn't breathe, I'm all bunged up from lack of air - who cares? It just got worse and noisier as the day went on with the Asda muck-mountain being moved from behind us and over to the side of the railway.

Questions:

1. Who the hell decided that it would be a good idea to make the lorries sound like a cross between a constipated duck and an angry crow when they're reversing ... again and again and again? 
2. Is the service yard big enough if they have to take 15 attempts to reverse in?
3. Wouldn't it have been better to have the service yard the other side of Asda?
4. I've read that Asda has got to offload 47 Netto stores [office of fair trading decision], Morrisons want some of them, but what about Langley Mill's Netto????
5. Why is Asda's money being spent on Aldercar recreation park and not Queen Street recreation ground? [or is that to happen later?]
6. Why am I in such a bad mood? ... Crushed Silver Birches, dead wildlife.
7. How come the rules for Heanor Haulage's workshop [had it been built] stated that they couldn't start work before 8.00am, yet Asda can wake me at 5.38am - they're lorries ... making noise ... chugging fumes.

We went to Argos for the blackout blind I've had to buy to block out Asda's security and loading dock lights [you owe me £12.99 Asda]. Seeing as we were already at Heanor we went to TESCO - bags of space ... loads of offers ... £10 off voucher [coupon, whatever] ... fast and friendly service ... a breeze to get around - well, it was bound to be really. Langley Mill was still full of people queuing to get into Asda's car park and bogging up the roundabout when we left ...

Asda At Langley Mill Is Open

What a chaos! The traffic is as bad as it was with the traffic lights - during the roundabout construction - with cars backing up to Heanor and Eastwood. Mini-fights [well, severe finger wagging] in the car park when someone parks in someone else's space. There are community police down there, presumably to try to direct traffic and calm things down. Attendants trying to advise people where there's a space to park ... AND THERE ARE ASDA SHOPPERS PARKING ON BRIDGE STREET when we were promised they wouldn't need to.

Get a grip people, Asda will still be there tomorrow ... and the day after ...

A Blast From The Past And Wholesale Tree Destruction

Well, if I thought I could have a nice peaceful birthday, I can think again. PMB Pallet Express were here all day clearing up the crap they left behind when the building was demolished around it - so ... brrrrm, brrrrm, clatter, clatter.

Funnily enough, I was only saying to the grumpy old man yesterday morning that I really miss them waking me up in the night [such a fib!], but it would take a long time to erase the memory of what they sounded like.

Moments later [literally] Mr Heanor Haulage arrived, closely followed by two PMB lorries. Mr HH says that next week we'll have the pleasure of listening to mountains of muck being shifted over to the railway lines to join the other mountains and are to be flattened, crushing yet more trees [not his exact words, but I'm sure it's what he meant].

According to the 'Ecological Appraisal' done at the time of Asda's and Heanor Haulage's proposals, 'the only area of any ecological value was along the railway track outside the development site, this area is walled off from the site and is not affected by the proposal'.

Should Asda really be chucking their building/demolition waste over the fence when they're trying to aid Langley Mill to become more environmentally friendly?

Anyway since the plans were passed the boundaries have become somewhat blurred - with the purchases of certain bits of railway land - so I think we can safely say goodbye to these areas of ecological value ...

Sold!! To The Highest Bidder

Well, I've been sat here waiting for some juicy offers to plop through the letterbox from Asda - seeing as they open in less than two days. Nothing! Whereas my new favourite Store ... Tesco - actually, I hate Tesco but I have very low morals when it comes to bribery - have sent us each yet another batch of coupons to spend.

The grumpy old man flashed both our Tesco letters at me, then proceeded to open his and my mail - including one of my birthday cards ... and read it out to me - git [his excuse was that I was having a shower at the time].

But wait!! My GOM has since been out and just returned from Eastwood brandishing an Asda leaflet ... are there coupons within? Are there buggery. All Asda could manage - so far ... there's a little time yet ... Tesco can still be outbid ... I'm very bribe-able - was a store guide.

So, four more trips to Tesco to spend £60 to save £20 ... with a trolley each, plus pen and paper so as not to underspend [my calculator skills are crap, I kept adding things twice last time we went, until the GOM took over].

Am I shallow? You bet I am. I will of course waft through the doors of Asda on Monday night for a browse around - and to see how many times I can drop my Tesco coupon and announce loudly as I pick it up that we're just on our way to TESCO - I may get chucked out ...

The Eyesore

I'm referring to the lamppost opposite - the top light on the post works OK but is no longer necessary as it was to light up the bridge steps, whereas the bottom one [in the photo] hasn't worked since E.on fiddled with it a year ago. Of course with Asda's ultra-bright security lights, everywhere is lit up. In fact we no longer need electricity in our bedroom but I really must invest in something to block out the light, I keep waking thinking it's time to get up!

Now that we're all smartened up with a wooden fence and plants - yes, maybe the houses do spoil Asda's view of Bridge Street, but tough, we're staying - this street light is an incongruous mess. It's mottled green, having been painted years ago by the Groundwork crew to match the mural on the side of the bridge steps.

The lamppost is actually on the road, not the pavement, so not the best place for it - no the road hasn't been widened before you ask, it was always on the road but now the bridge extension has gone, it's in the way. It's covered in electrical tie-wraps to keep essentials fastened on, rusted at the bottom, albeit not rusty enough to fall over when I witnessed someone leaning heavily against it [note to friend - push harder].

We contemplated bribing a nice man with his digger to knock it over by accident whilst he was removing the temporary ramp next to it, but tut, he was way beyond careful.

The planting is now complete right up to the fence, so there's no immediate need for me to go out armed with spade and my own trees - shame, I was looking forward to that.

I'm not even going to mention the mess that is 'security fenced' off at the top of the street - oh, what? I did mention it, well it was only a teeny weeny little gripe. We can see the security man's kennel little shed from here, ahh, bless, and lots of old PMB Pallet Express mess.

The detailed plans haven't gone in yet for the new housing on Heanor Haulage's land - I don't mean the outline plans that were passed at the same time as the Asda store - but as soon as they do I'll be having a nosy [and no doubt a little moan].

There's still quite a lot of HH's crap to be moved before anything much can be done. Every so often they come and rearrange the odd scrappy bit of metal with their crane and then re-park it behind our house, possibly to annoy me [so my neighbour thinks], but as I've not been at home most of the summer I'm pleased to say that this would have been a wasted exercise ...

Trees? ... Please

Well, I waited and waited ... and waited with breath quite bated - ooh, I say, rhyming tripe - for the other trees to arrive across the road from us. There was a bare space at the back, room for lots of trees! Everywhere else had plants right up to the fence.

The gardeners were working further down the street - near our entrance to Asda - we noticed that the planting around there seemed a lot more dense [yes, this could have been an illusion caused by the angle I was observing from, but this is my diary and I'll moan if I want to], with nicer plants ... and more trees.

Wednesday morning:

7.15 - CRASH, CLATTER, RATTLE, RATTLE, flashing orange lights. 'What the chuffin heck are they doing now!?' ... Oh, my mistake, it wasn't RG Group on a mission to wake me up. It was the recycling lorry, which has been coming early since it could no longer get up the street at it's more normal we're-all-awake-and-I'll-just-dash-out-with-a-bit-more-recycling-if-you-don't-mind time. Bugger, I'm awake now, I may as well open the curtains and watch the trains and site workers arrive ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

8.00 - I'm awake! I'm awake! Y-a-w-n, s-t-r-e-t-c-h, I really will open the curtains now. YIKES! Where's me nets when I need 'em? - actually I did try them back up but didn't like them. They're proper, heavy Nottingham lace and block out everything, which was fine when all we'd got for a view was a brick wall and a rusting mural on the side of the bridge steps - there were men, straight across from us taking down the temporary fence, I had to hide what was left of my dignity behind a curtain [yes, it is wide enough], somewhat sharpish.

8.20 - Knock at the door ... 'Can you move the cars please?' He meant, of course, the ones in our private car park the turning circle. I phoned one neighbour to tell her ... 'What, now? I'm not dressed, mutter, mutter...' The grumpy old man told our other neighbour - well, he told her son as she too was indisposed. They're an idle lot up here when the kids are off school ... I'm going to suffer for that comment aren't I neighbour?

Whilst the GOM was down the street after moving the car, he decided to ask the gardeners about our trees - or lack of ... 'Have you forgotten the trees at the top of the street?'
'There are no more trees'
'Are you sure? There's only a little one and we think there should be more, especially as they chopped a big one down from near there. That should really be replaced' [I have the evidence of this tree murder].

Upon grumpy's return I text my neighbour and relayed this latest annoyance, she was still outside having just moved her car so she asked the foreman - who was standing in the wrong place at just the wrong time - 'But there's space left for more trees ... leave it with me'. was his reply.

A little later, the bark arrived, don't they normally put that down after the planting? ... I wasn't to worry, I need to be more patient [I don't do patient, I'm getting old you know!!]. We were assured that the trees were coming but the bark had arrived and needed shifting straight away. OK, I'll wait ... and wait ... and wait.

Oh bugger this, I'm going across to plant my slightly dead Christmas tree and very much alive cherry tree if they don't bring us more trees soon. I'm also willing to go on a mission to dig up a couple of silver birches from nearby - seeing as they've already crushed countless trees with their big heaps next to the railway lines.

Thursday morning:

9.15 I SEE TREES!! Well, two more anyway. There is still a huge empty space at the back - hmm, I suppose it's somewhere for all the cats to have a wee. But, ho, hum, if it's not planted soon it may end up accommodating some unexpected flora ...

Tesco Generosity And A Conundrum

Thanks Tesco for your very generous £10 off coupons, most people I know only got £6 off. Even better, you sent both the grumpy old man and myself the same letter, so two lots, unfortunately as I was in exile at Skegness with my cat for the last two months we missed the first week.

These coupons, ostensibly, are to celebrate the revamp of our local Tesco in Heanor ... nothing at all then to do with the fact that Asda in Langley Mill - with our own little path from Bridge Street - is nearly open ... No? OK. Well whatever the reason, thanks for these lovely coupons - ARE YOU TAKING NOTE ASDA??? I can be bought! - we'll be up to whizz around Tesco with a trolly and calculator each [well I don't want to accidentally spend £29.95 and himself £30.05].

Now Asda, you seem to have sparked a mini-debate amongst my friends on seasons. You advertise your Langley Mill store opening as the 'Winter Opening' on November 8th. I've asked one or two intelligent people who surprised me by agreeing with you, that November is indeed a winter month.

As far as I was aware - obviously making me less intelligent than I thought I was, but I can live with this ... just - November in England has always been firmly lodged in Autumn, at least it has in my lifetime. This is something I knew from an early age because I wanted my birthday to be in winter - I can't help it, I love snow and sparkly frost; even now - and I was told by someone nasty [my mother] that it wasn't.

As I grew up [a couple of years ago] I understood there to be two recognized dates for the start of winter here. There’s the astronomical start on the 21st/22nd December [the date I adhere to] and the meteorological start on the 1st December and now we have the Asda [or even Celtic] start to winter on 1st November.

Anyone who wants to join in this debate please feel free to leave a comment, I won't be at all offended by anyone disagreeing with me as my childhood wish of being a winter baby will be fulfilled.

Umm, Am I being boring? Yes, I thought so.

OK, back to the real world - there are now men high up on a 'cherry picker' sticking green 'ASDA' letters and a red blob with 24 hours cut out around the back of the building, I think there may probably be more of these cheapo signs to come. Presumably this is in case we're all unaware that Asda is there or maybe they're trying to attract passing custom as the trains go by, hmm, well it's a thought.

Soil is being turned over across the road as I type and there are lots of plants with a few diddy trees, apparently the larger specimens are due this week. I await their arrival with bated breath, you know I absolutely adore trees.

What the chuff is that!!?? It's 7.35pm and some pillocks are grinding/cutting something noisily with sparks flying everywhere, straight across from us on Heanor Haulages bit! Bog off back into Asda to do it. And why do the workmen do everything in reverse? Can't they drive their diggers/lorries etc forwards? It's bleep-bloody-bleep all the time - moan, whinge. And my front windows are FILTHY, it looks like they've had wet sand sprayed on them, I'll have to put my nets back up to hide the muck at this rate, which is not conducive to my nosiness  - tut, I've only been back a day ...

And So It Continues

RG Group say they're putting Bridge Street back to it's full width this week which will seem very odd after seven months, and they'll be removing the 'turning circle/private car park'.

They've been working constantly on the white box that is Langley Mill's Asda and its surroundings for what now seems like forever, including doing the smelly tarmacking today - Sunday! I can only assume this is RG Group's version of working on Bridge Street during 'off-peak' hours as they said they'd be doing in one of their letters. They also regard delivering concrete at 8.00am on a week day as 'off-peak' - how strange.

Really, the noise and disruption plus a total disregard for safety at times to Bridge Street residents has been horrendous just lately, I only hope it'll be worth it in the end because some of us are starting to get very fraught and close to the edge.

RG Group, in my opinion started quite well in the beginning when I gave them 'gold star' status because they really tried to be as considerate as possible - then they slipped progressively down my scale of excellence, passing through:

1. Noisy gits.
2. Pains in the arse.
3. Ignorant sods.

They now seem to be giving the impression that they'll soon be going so who cares. And where are our greenery and trees? They haven't arrived yet!!

Now ahem, we've heard a rumour that if you complain about the noise and muck etc. you'll be given vouchers to get your car cleaned. But it hardly seems fair that we should have to complain to receive anything from Asda or RG Group after all this constant disruption to our lives. Cleaning our windows a few times so we can see better what they're doing really isn't really much of a compensation even if I am nosy, now is it?

And seeing as I'm the shy retiring type who doesn't like to moan about anything [cough, splutter], I can't really see us complaining, can you? Even though they put the grumpy old man and myself through absolute hell when it was so earth shatteringly noisy and shaky they scared our cat into hiding where she was trapped for five days. Then we weren't allowed to look for her even though she was only a stone's throw away, resulting in me being forever branded a trespasser [oh yes, I'm a proper rebel I am].

Hmm, now where is that pile of letters with their phone number ...

New Housing On Cromford Road

As per usual, I've been nosily looking at [AVBC] plans for our area just in case there's summat worth moaning about. I noticed one plan for up to 76 lodges plus two carp lakes behind Stoneyford Lodge, then I came across another that I thought had already been passed.

I soon realised it was yet another amendment [Variation of unilateral undertaking] to something no-one wanted in the first place. Oh yes, I can definitely feel a whinge coming on [of course in the meantime I've since read another interesting and far superior blog on the same subject but I won't let that put me off].

Over the last few years estates have sprouted up on all our green bits - the new housing on North Street is ok as it was mostly replacing Aristoc. But the estate at Langley really peeved me at the time as I then lived nearby - a bit of it was land previously owned by Heanor Haulage [yes, the same Heanor Haulage that sold the land for our new Asda in front of us], but the rest of it was fields. To be extra annoying they cut our road [Laceyfields Road] into four bits so the new estate had priority, oh yes, and they completely arsed up the bit of road near the school.

I can't really see how we can keep having more and more houses being built, but no new schools, doctors or amenities etc. to keep up with them. There are now no spaces between our towns and villages in the surrounding area - you can tell this while travelling as the speed limit is always 30mph meaning it's a built up area - making us one vast sprawl rather than the proper communities we used to be.

The Post Office already got rid of place names like Marlpool and Langley years ago, telling us that we lived in Heanor. It was like being told I'm British and not English so I was always one of those people that insisted on keeping Langley in my address whether the post office liked it or not. Gosh, I thought my grumpydom was more recent than that.

Anyway, where was I? Tut, this was only going to be two chuffing paragraphs when I started, I've got sidetracked again. Ah, yes, on to my newest moan:

Talk about cheap, nasty and GREEDY! Miller Homes who have already had their highly controversial plan passed for 109 houses - to be built on one of our few remaining green bits in Langley Mill - against our community's wishes, now want to renege on the deal with the council. Specifically, the amount of affordable boxes homes. They now want to build 6 instead of 30. They also want to reduce the bribe S106 monies agreed to. Presumably this poor company is now bleating about their profits not being big enough. Ahh, shame.

Well here's an interesting suggestion Miller Homes - bog off and build your houses elsewhere ...

Banking In Langley Mill?

I have read that Santander would like to open a branch in one of Asda's units. I hope this gets approval because I happen to know some crumblies who have to go to Derby every time they want to do a bit of banking.

I also happen to know a much closer and grumpier crumbly who is sophisticated enough to do telephone banking with a couple of his accounts. This was a real treat when listening to the 'password' bit of the conversation:

'The third character, hmm ... is it *? Oh good.'
'The eighth one!! ... Er, I've only got five, are you sure I've got eight?'
'Can't you ask me the next question instead?'
'Can't you give me a clue?'
'Oh does *** come at the end?'
'Well it'll be *.'
'YES!!'

Shortly after witnessing this one sided conversation I upgraded him to online banking where I'm in control - with my moderately younger memory - of all the letters and numbers.

Oh bugger it! I've just tried to log onto his ******* account in a smug-show-offy-I-do-online-banking-you're-a-div-if-you-don't kind of way, and now I've remembered that last time I logged on, WE had to create another memorable bit after the password - yeah, I've forgotten it ...

More Heaps And Bleeps

Ooooooh, it's getting exciting now! The hoarding has been coming down on Bridge Street the last couple of days, new fencing has gone up and there have been numerous deliveries of soil all day - very noisy with lorries bleep bleep bleeping! I suppose it couldn't be helped though and the drivers always gave way to residents wanting to get past.

I can't wait for my huge tree to arrive to block my view of everything [that was a dream I had - I can't help my dreams]. The landscaping should be properly under way soon, with lots of green stuff for us to look at instead of the truly awful view we had.

Well, it's beginning to look like the end of the disruption to Bridge Street residents is in sight and we'll be left in peace at last, I won't have anything left to moan about.

What's that you say? Asda will be open soon with people shopping and deliveries being made all hours of the day [tut]. Then of course [lucky us] we'll have the noise of all sixty new peasant boxes affordable houses being built behind us - hmm, we'll see ...

Stargazing And A Caravan Fire

Just lately - now I've got a new super-zoom toy - another of my other gentle pastimes has  has been rekindled, namely stargazing. Not the serious stuff, I'm not bright enough for that, but the easy to notice things like the phases of the moon and the planets that can be seen just by looking up.

To help with this I started following Jodrell Bank on Twitter, they tweet and re-tweet and I was lucky enough to have checked just at the right time on the MW zinc ii for us to dash out onto the veranda [no, we're not posh, we're just at the caravan], to spot the International Space Station passing over. I've since used the website heavens-above to follow the ISS and visible passing satellites.

I also downloaded a program called 'Stellarium', this shows all the stars and planets and where they are at any given time. You can fast forward and zoom in amongst other things, which was a great help for spotting the four largest moons of Jupiter through my telescope - 13 years old, in pristine condition, recently hoiked out of the cupboard it had been banished to shortly after purchase [a surprise Christmas present from the grumpy old man] and taken to the caravan where the lighting conditions are far better than at our winter abode.

Anyway, in-between taking photos of the squirrel, birds and some very obliging fungi [they tend not to dash off while I'm composing my shots] during the day and the badgers at night - although I've still not managed to get the elusive fox or owl to stand still long enough to have their pictures taken - I've taken some [not brilliant but wonderful for me] pictures of the moon and a few blobs of Jupiter and her largest moons.

I was tiptoeing the other night among the slugs to get a close up of the badger noshing on peanuts when he suddenly shot off [they can move fast] as he had been disturbed by a WHOOSH! He made a hasty retreat along the fence and into the dyke. The cat was in a state of panic too. We couldn't work out what would have made such a strange noise so late at night - most normal people [wimmin] were in bed snuggled up with their electric blankets while the others were watching football on the telly.

Then I spotted the flashing blue and red lights and smoke, oh heck, right where the gas tank is [or so I thought]. Yes one of the fire engines plus the ambulance were there but the fire was a caravan further down the site.

Of course, being nosy I went to investigate, well I was already dressed in my bright-cream-fleecy-stop-up-late-when-it's-cold-to-take-photos pyjamas over my normal flimsy bed attire. Some people gave me a bit of an odd look as they turned up to see what was happening, because there I was, armed with my camera. I explained that I'd been taking photos of the badger but I'm not sure if anyone believed me - our caravan neighbours are used to seeing me with my camera at night but I don't go far with it [not needing to] - they probably thought I was some sort of opportunistic ghoul who likes taking disaster photos.

We all stood around in the drizzle, comparing caravan insurance that we'd had to pay at the beginning of the month. And agreeing that we hoped it was a caravan that belonged to 'she who must be obeyed' - not out of spite, but if it was an owned caravan, then there's always personal stuff left inside, whereas if it's a site caravan, it's only fixtures and fittings.

We've since found out that someone was staying in the caravan but were out at the time and the fire was caused by an electrical fault - it was actually a bimbo's hairdryer with an intermittent fault, left plugged in - as you do [not]. What was left of the caravan has now been taken away to caravan heaven.

We've also all had to pay for an electrical check that we didn't need. But someone - in the right place at the right time has made vast amounts of dosh, charging £25 for approximately 8 minutes work, umpteen times over a few days [with a Leicester telephone number, so not local but cheaper than advertised onsite] - unfortunately, having retired the GOM is no longer certified to do any electrical work, even though he has the technology ... which I heard about, oooh, every time he saw another victim friend to harass tell his tale of woe to ... bless him.

Did I take any photos of the caravan on fire? Well of course I did, I couldn't miss an opportunity like that now could I? I'm as ghoulish as the next person ...

Name Confusion

I was asked to print a copy of 'A Game Of Bowls' post for our next-door-but-one caravan neighbours, as they'd read Betty's copy and wanted their own - sad people. Anyway, I'm quite obliging and to save myself having to get the printer out again in the near future I decided to print a few of my posts - the ones that didn't involve Asda because no-one in their right mind wants to read my rants about them.

I saved them in 'Word' before printing as it was easier to get more tripe squeezed into one page. I noticed along the way that I hadn't gone back to remove all the offending ampersands [&] as I'd promised. I did a bit of that while I was copying and pasting so couldn't help reading a few of my own posts. Even I had a titter occasionally because I'd completely forgotten about at least half of them [just as well sometimes].

One in particular made me laugh when the grumpy old man had started calling me Judy. I reminded him of this last night and asked him if he could remember why he'd taken to calling me by a different name.

'Well,' he said. 'When you get a bit older, you start to forget names ... Anyway, you're nearly as bad as me - just look how often you call me Twat' ...

Roundabout Open At last!

I've been told that The Roundabout is open!! - although according to my neighbour [who has been that way], the road markings are strange. Two arrows straight to Heanor and no hint of a right arrow to Cromford Road. I don't suppose they really want anyone going around it until Asda opens ... because that's what it's there for - SHOPPING! - not to make life easier for us ...

Asda's Langley Mill Roundabout To Open ... One Day!

After interrogating a poor unsuspecting chap - who isn't so unsuspecting, and is by now used to us questioning him - while he was putting up a notice to say that the footpath to the bridge was now open [two days late as most of RG Groups notices]. We think we managed to get the information we wanted about Langley Mill's roadworks:

1. The tarmac is to be laid tomorrow.
2. The white lining will be done Friday.
3. The road will open, ooooh sometime after that - presumably when the paint is dry. So - um, later on Friday then? ... Or, Saturday? Er Sunday? Next week? ... When Asda opens? [8th November]

Apparently, and I can't quite remember where I heard this [yes I can, what a huge fib!]. It's the council that's been holding things up with the roundabout. I presume they must have had a very good reason seeing as they know [or should know] that the children are now back at school. Cromford Road wasn't open for 3.30 this afternoon [as it has been lately], so people had to turn around at the bottom of Bridge Street to go back to join the queue to get onto the A610 - not a lot of fun and an enormous waste of time ...

A Game Of Bowls

Ahem, we went bowling yesterday ... and that's the very last time I refer to all those old dears in off white 'uniforms' as a 'bunch of decrepit geriatrics' - oh, I ache! I have muscles in my legs I wasn't aware of. There were old codgers beetling up and down after their balls - 'bowls', I was oft corrected, to which I was to reply 'but they're just deformed balls!'

My team won, totally without my help. We were being taught to play by our caravan neighbours who play most days throughout the season at Skegness. I was partnered by John and the grumpy old man by Betty, this meant that I could chat to her at one end and grumpy could bore him at the other.

I often got to place the mat as my partner was good and we kept winning, this also meant I got to chuck my ball first at the distant white speck aka 'the jack' - see I'm learning. I was also to learn things like 'bias' and 'jack high' [yeah, I thought that was cards too].

Like any poor loser/worker I blamed my tools, or in this case - bowls [woods, oh yes!]. They were too light being size 0's, I really wanted to try 2's but they were already out, grumpy had 3's, and bugger me - he was good at it, I mean really good - was I jealous? Not a bit, he's got to be better than me at something. So ... no, I'm not in the least bit bothered, not jealous at all, I don't know why I mentioned it really - it was just that I needed to fill up this paragraph that I'd already started [t**t!].

Of course [yes, I'm still in excuse mode], I would probably have played better with a screen around a good portion of me to blot out the view of my derrière when I played my bowls. Now why I should think anyone is interested in the size of my gluteus maximus is a mystery, because Skeggy is the big bum capital of the east coast in summer and mine seriously isn't that big [no it isn't].

It didn't help that the opposition standing next to me and giving me excellent advice - 'aim for the darker green patch' or ' the vibrant green bit' [depending on which end we were playing from] - is very slim and petite. She approached the mat with graceful, fluid movements and sent all her bowls in a perfect arc toward the jack. Whereas I lumbered up like a Russian shot putter, madly dusting my bowl as I went - giving me time to have a sneaky look around to make sure there were few, if any witnesses to the eclipse that was shortly to occur.

Unfortunately, being more aware of my bum instead of concentrating on the job in hand meant that instead of taking my time, I just lobbed the bowl to get rid of it as fast as I could, often sending it straight down toward the jack instead of curving it. This resulted in them frequently dribbling out of play and occasionally to nestle comfortably amongst the bowls of the neighbouring players - yeah, yeah, OK. I've done with the feeble excuses now.

I was to finish our game with a stagger and handshakes all round [and a hug from the grumpy old man]. Oh heck! It was m-i-l-e-s back to the car. When we'd finally got there [a few minutes later] and I'd draped myself somewhat melodramatically over the passenger seat, I realised my left leg was still hanging about outside [yes, it is attached before you ask]. I begged it to lift itself up and in - it completely ignored me so I gripped the hem of my shorts and dragged it in. The GOM - usually big on sympathy - said I'd be fine after I'd had a couple of paracetamols - PARACETAMOLS!!  - I wanted walking sticks or preferably a Zimmer frame.

Betty and John arrived back at their caravan shortly after us. They asked today if we'd gone straight out as they didn't see us again. Well, no they wouldn't, I'd rushed into the caravan - after having more severe words with my legs about how long they were taking to mount the steps - had a hot shower [no bath to soak in here] and then tottered down the caravan going 'oooooh, owwww' to plonk down in front of the telly to do a bit of crocheting - making the cat a bright orange and fluffy pink blanket as punishment for turning me into a zombie while she was missing.

And this pathetic wreck of womanhood was achieved with just over an hours play. What made it worse was the knowledge that our fit neighbours have regularly played for several hours, come back at teatime to immediately start a bit of intensive - on your knees - weeding and lawn edge trimming, whilst I was to be found watching them lazily over the top of my book from a sun lounger ... yawn.

'Will we be playing bowls again?' I hear you ask, you bet we will - just as soon as I've recovered - in about a month's time. Oh yes, and when I've got me a big portable screen to hide my a**e ...

Langley Mill's New Roundabout

Oops, sorry neighbour. I wrote this and forgot to publish ... bad blogger.

I've just been told by a very reliable source [my good friend and neighbour] that:

1. The footpath on Bridge Street is to open on Monday.
2. Asda's roundabout should be fully open Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on the weather for laying tarmac.
3. The turning circle/private car park will remain until RG Group leave in 7 weeks.
4. There's a big fence going up along the new footpath.

Photos will be taken [and inserted] when we return home on Wednesday - hopefully using the new roundabout ...

.......................................................................

8th September Update:

1. Yes the footpath to the bridge is open. Nets will be reinstalled on my windows [oops] -  I'll put my nets back up
2. No, Asda's new roundabout isn't fully open ... I can only assume that if they were depending on the weather for tarmac laying [as some of us were told], then they must be using the 'don't like fresh air' variety of tarmac.
3. BT is still very much in evidence at the end of Cromford Road, shall we blame them and their chamber?
4. The fence is huge, almost as high as my bedroom window, I don't like it Asda - move it!

My Cat's Rescue

I watched ‘The Deep’ in a morose ‘when-I-watched-this-last-week-my-cat-was-here’ kind of way. When out of the blue I announced I was going for a walk to find her. Bearing in mind we'd already done this Saturday evening, early Sunday morning and the grumpy old man has since worn a furrow in the footpath with how many times he's walked round asking people if they've seen her.

We went down Bridge Street [it's a long way round yet] passing three cats on our way to the recreation ground. As soon as we got there I started whistling and shouting her name ... oooh, I was sure I could hear something on Heanor Haulage land.

We went round the corner toward the bridge still shouting and listening [between the trains - they were exceptionally loud that night], but I could no longer hear anything. Hmm, so that means she wasn't in one of the Asda containers.

The grumpy old man couldn't hear anything at all, was I going doolally? ‘Are you wearing your hearing aid?’ ... ‘No’ ... ‘Well we'll go back for it then, I need you to hear it too’.

Back home we went, there was a definite spring in my step now. The conversation on the way: ‘Are you sure it was her?’ ... ‘No, but it was definitely a cat in distress and why would it meow every time I shouted? It must be her’ ... ‘What shall we do if you're sure it's her?’ ... ‘Ask again tomorrow if we can go on HH land.’

We set off again, one of us armed with better hearing, I was striding out and the GOM was sort of lagging behind. By the time we got there, the GOM realised that we could have gone in the car - what was I thinking? He was exhausted, he's no spring chicken and he'd already covered miles [albeit the same few miles] looking for her.

 
He heard her before we even had chance to shout her name. That was it, we were both convinced - she was there.

Now, we just happened to know where there was a sneaky way onto HH land [having observed a bit of activity last weekend]. We went to check out this hole in the fence and before I knew where I was, I'd had one of my little ‘moments’ and was to be found tiptoeing across HH yard, leaving the GOM at the fence telling my rear quarters that I could be in trouble if I got caught … I was of course, wearing my ultra-bright-ideal-for-breaking-in-and-trespassing-cream-fleece.

I negotiated around the crane bits and across to the shunter ... whistled, shouted [whispered], no not here ... I made my way to the big green thing aka the old boiler, no not here ... off to the big red thing aka the diesel tank. Oh, I can hear her back toward the fence.

There was a HH trailer covered in tarpaulin, I whispered ‘Tia, are you in there?’ ... ‘Meow!!’

I pulled at the tarpaulin, and got it up far enough to see two huge eyes and her blue daisy collar in the torchlight. Bugger it! If there had been HH's old lights the next bit would have been easy [having since seen the photos of the trailer]. As it was I was practically working in the dark - the torch I was using was next to useless - and I couldn't find how to loosen the cover. I ended up struggling to hold it up with one hand and dragging the cat out with the other.

She started purring, even though I'd nearly dislocated all her joints pulling her out, she was a bag of bones, never very heavy at any time. As my neighbour has often put it 'Tia eats to live', where her cats 'live to eat'.

I made my way back along the crane parts, I shouted [in a loud whisper] to the GOM to tell him to shout back to direct me as I couldn't find where I needed to be ... oh a bit further yet ... and a bit more ... oh heck, a bit more ... then I turned to the fence stepping over and around scrap.
 

I reached the hole in pitch dark where I'd left poor old grumpy worrying. ‘You've never got her’ ... ‘I have’. He took her from me while I had an argument with the razor wire. It was just after this that the pain hit, I thought the top of my head was going to explode, I had to sit down, such was the pain. I think it must have been the build up of stress suddenly being released.

We made our way back home - again - it's a chuffing long way with a wriggly, purring cat, half of me wishes they'd hurry up with that ramp to the bridge [although doing the footpath is what scared her into hiding], the other half of me is dreading it being open for the dregs of Langley Mill to cause trouble again.

Half way up Bridge Street I could see my neighbour out with her torch, she was calling and listening at the storage containers just over from the ‘turnaround’ while it was quiet. She was delighted to see we'd got her back.

Tia was starving! I’ve never known her eat so much, there must have been water where she was as she didn’t want a drink. She smelt awful, a mixture of diesel and rubber, I helped her out by wiping her with damp kitchen towel, licking that muck off would have made her sick. I got no sleep that night, she was non-stop purring, washing, eating and then going to the loo - thank heaven for cat litter.

I'd just like to say that if we'd been allowed to go on HH land via Asda's bit, we'd have found her in minutes and although I've been somewhat scathing of HH [yes I have], we were always allowed to go and fetch her back by the gate man - this was whenever she threw a ‘why-did-you-abandon-me- [with the neighbour] -and-I'm-not-coming-back-so-there’ wobbly - he knew all the cats that routinely ‘hung out’ in the buildings and on the back yard. Hmm, I think I'd better apologise here to Mr HH for trespassing - and even though I'm not a rule breaker, I'd do it again if I had to.

I've just read and watched with horror that twat of a woman who deliberately put a cat into a wheelie bin, apparently - at the time of reading - this was not considered by the police to be a ‘criminal offence’, presumably leaving the RSPCA to foot the bill of any proceedings against her. I hope because of this couldn't care less attitude that there aren't a spate of copycat ‘non-criminal offences’ made toward cats or indeed any animals. At least my cat's imprisonment was not malicious.

Tia didn’t go out for three days ... Saturday morning, off she went ... tea-time, we're packed and waiting to take her to the seaside for some peace and quiet - like the good cat servants we are. ‘Lets take some Asda photos and look for her, I can't stand waiting here any longer’. Half way between the bridge and the recreation ground … ‘Meow!?! This little head pops out of a rusty old girder/pipe doo dah next to the fence on HH land. I just give in …

More Chaos In Langley Mill

Not satisfied with setting fire to the recycling bins on Cromford Road, some idiot decided that it would be jolly good fun to have a bonfire on the land behind the recycling bins ... where there's lots of gas cylinders - result Bridge Street is completely closed off [with tape] no-one can go anywhere, several houses have been evacuated. The cylinders may now need to be hosed down for between 8-24 hours .

Rumour: The Napier and Mill pubs plus the land where the fire occurred is owned by gypsies.

Makes me glad to have escaped to the rainy seaside with the grumpy old man and my cat ...


Update: Panic over, everyone back home ...

Broken Promises?

Hmm, now how can I put this? Ahem, remember all those promises I made in my last post ... well, I don't have to keep them. I've just reread it to check how it was worded - yes, some of it was cringe making, soppy drivel. So bad I nearly deleted it, but hey that's not fair, I sometimes need reminding how stupid I am over a cat [ah bless, she's adorable].

But, oh dear - because of a mere technicality, I can carry on writing drivel ... so get used to it.

Although:

1. I haven't yet played solitaire on my windows mobile phone [my fingers are starting to twitch].
2. I've been to have my hair cut - oh, by at least a millimetre. Hmm, what other promises did I make? I'll just have another look ...
3. HALF MY WAGES!?! EVERY WEEK!! Chuffing nora, I didn't even put how long for!

Well, I've already made a donation at the 'Missing Pets Register' and I'll cruise t'Interweb in the next few days to see who I think most deserves half of my NEXT weeks wage, because even though I am exempt from keeping my promises as Tia DID NOT actually come home, I feel it's the least I can do. I'll also buy cat and dog food the next few times I go shopping at Morrisons to put in the donation bins.

I'll just say now that I really had no intention of actually publishing my last post, I wrote it just for me ... right up until someone took it upon himself - egged on by his equally twattish buddies no doubt - to phone me [number withheld] to say he'd got Tia ... one day this bunch of dillops may grow up and realise how cruel that was ... nevertheless, it was at that point that I inserted the phone call into the post and decided to publish.

I'll write all about her return - just as soon as I can get rid of this tension headache - in the next exciting instalment of my blog ...

My Cat Tia Is Missing

This will hopefully be my last blog post ... it's just one of many promises I've made over the last few days, if only my cat comes back.

The first promise was that if I was to win the game of solitaire I was playing on my mobile phone [Saturday], then she was sure to come back. I won the game and subsequently promised not to waste any more time playing it ... I have kept this promise.

The second promise was that if she was to return by the end of the day [Sunday] then I would have my hair cut short ... I am growing it, it's my one vanity, it's thick and curly [although insane at this point of growing].

The third promise was to donate half my wages to charities every week if she was to return by the end of the day [yesterday].

I have now registered her as a missing pet, it took me three days to do this because I refused to believe she was gone.

She was thoroughly stressed out both Thursday and Friday mornings, they were breaking the ground up [very close to us] in an earth shattering way, ready for the new footpath to the bridge. As soon as I got up [she feels safe while I'm in bed] she ran into the back bedroom and jumped through the window onto the kitchen roof, this was Friday morning. When we're home she routinely goes out for the day but knocks on the door at tea-time.

Yesterday was awful ... our main hope was that she'd gone to hide in one of the Asda storage containers, and of course no-one was working Sunday. The grumpy old man [who incidentally is as upset as I am], asked on the building site if he could go with one of them to check to see if she was hiding in a container - on Heanor Haulage land, where she's always hung out. We've had to go more than once to fetch her back when she's been left at home alone in the last few years.

The GOM was told he couldn't go on the site, but the site manager said he'd check himself - fair enough, it's a busy site, although the containers are well away from the Asda building - I can practically reach one of them [with a fairly long stick] over my neighbours fence. The main reason the GOM wanted to check himself is because if she is hiding in one of them, she'll hide from anyone unfamiliar but make a heck of a row if he calls her name and whistles her from close by.

I'm listening so hard for the jingle of her bell that my ears are aching, this isn't helped by my neighbours cats who jingle up and down the entry every five minutes, although it's a slightly different tone. I'd decided to lie down for five minutes yesterday afternoon - I'd been pacing from room to room, half the night and all day, up and downstairs to check through the windows - when I heard meowing at the back door, I shot up and ran to look through the window, convinced she was back, only to see my neighbours cat [he's been inherited and not sure where he lives yet]. This did nothing for my headache and I wept buckets.

I know there are many people who have had far worse happen to them, but I'm one of those sad, childless women [not by choice] who has always had a pet as a baby substitute - I've had dogs die and I've mourned them but the disappearance of my cat is agony.

The list of things I miss about her are endless, but the first thing on it, is how she insisted I put my arm around her in bed at night, and if she woke to find I was facing the wrong way [towards the GOM], she'd pat me on the shoulder - getting a bit more insistent with each pat [claws], until I woke up and turned back to face her.

What I really didn't need was some smart alec bastard phoning me up from Queen Street rec to tell me that they'd got my cat and had found her at Tesco Heanor! I was half expecting calls like this as the GOM has just put put posters up about her being missing.

My last promise if she comes back is to stop annoying people by writing this blog. So if you see a chunky woman with very, very short blonde hair, dressed in rags [due to the charitable donations] ... but with a huge grin walking around Langley Mill, it'll be me - with Tia safe at home ...

..................................................................................


Update ... Tia is home!!

Recycling Madness

We've received yet another letter from the council about Asda's latest plans - namely a new public seating area [end of Cromford Road] and a recycling area.

Now, I'm all for recycling - we do our bit religiously, this is why I'm able to tell people when the recycling bins on Cromford Road have been set fire to. These bins are not a million miles away from Asda's newly proposed recycling site near their petrol station.

While I commend Asda [along with most supermarkets] for taking an initiative in recycling, I do take umbrage at their assumption that we don't recycle already - both at home and in the aforementioned slightly singed and melted bins.

Asda say in their latest proposal ... and I quote: "Adding the recycling area to the site will aid Langley Mill to become more environmentally friendly". If these smart arse planners were to nip down to our unenvironmentally friendly Langley Mill, they may have noticed our top of the range, colour coded recycling bins already in situ.

But, yes I get it, most people who recycle on a large scale do it on their supermarket trip - unlike us who have all on remembering our shopping bags. I often stand shuffling my feet at the checkout in Morrisons, asking apologetically for wafer thin carrier bags ... because my super strong, arm-wrenching, industrial sized shopping bags are sat in the middle of the kitchen floor, where I'd put them moments before leaving the house [yes I probably did trip over them on my way out - it's an age thing].

Of course, receiving this latest letter from the council about Asda's planned recycling area, made me think about the tin-pot recycling system we put up with now.

Our council DEMANDS that we recycle our household rubbish [washed they don't want mucky recycling], using the crappy yellow and orange tubs [complete with drainage holes in the bottoms]. For some reason they don't want to collect our plastic ... which is odd because most households seem to have more plastic than other recycling. I can only assume that because it's light but often bulky, it would be cutting into profits - so we go on burying it in landfill sites where it lasts - well a lot longer than we do.

And before Asda think they're getting off scot free in this little moan, think again - if they and the other supermarkets insisted that less crap was used in packaging - I'm sure they're in a position to do this - there wouldn't be so much rubbish [recyclable or not] in the first place, and then they needn't be so smug when applying for planning permission to have a recycling area to 'aid us peasants to be more environmentally friendly'. Yes, I do admit that sentence got right up my nose.

My parents, sisters and niece [three different councils] each have two full sized bins with a couple of exciting new innovations installed on them as standard ... lids and wheels. They aren't expected to sort through their recycling [although doing so doesn't bother me], it is collected on a fortnightly basis after being wheeled to the required place - they don't have to struggle with blue bags of sopping wet paper [complete with several generations of slugs and snails], orange bags of cardboard that have mysteriously quadrupled in weight [because of the same rain that wet the paper], or squelch back into the house with cat food scented jeans and socks, because when you've carried the recycling bin to the street - you find there's always one tin that's tipped up to dribble fishy water down your leg.

Well, not me obviously - but I've heard the grumpy old man muttering about it ...

March 2011 Update:

Someone's nicked our recycling bins on Cromford Road - and Asda hasn't started recycling yet. Not very good is it council? We're overflowing with plastic here. Bring them Back!

Goodbye Langley Mill's Bookies

Oh dear, we have to say goodbye to the bookies next Tuesday. I asked my source - I have to use terms like that, it makes me feel more important - when the Post Office is to close. But, as you may have guessed, the PO wasn't uppermost in the grumpy old man's mind when he received the bad news about the bookies closing ... Righto, he's been to make enquiries and the Post Office won't be closing until the new one is ready.

 

There's been a bit of stupid vandalism in Langley Mill [nothing new there], when the big recycling bins were set fire to on the car park on Cromford Road [also a fence was burnt on Aldreds Lane]. On the same night, a wheelie bin from Bridge street was moved to the Asda fence in the 'turnaround' at the top corner, we don't know if anyone broke into the site or not.

Work seems to be progressing well on the roundabout, quite a lot of tarmac has gone down. The BT chamber is sort of still a bit holey but I'm sure they'll get their finger out!

Right onto rumours, there aren't many although I've heard several versions about the same subject, namely CJ Cars, and before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, I didn't make any up myself:

1. CJ cars has closed for good [retired].
2. CJ Cars is just waiting until the road is re-opened.
3. CJ Cars was hoping for Asda to buy them out and they changed their mind.
4. Asda has paid CJ Cars enormous sums in compensation.
5. CJ Cars has sold out to a well known fast food restaurant.
6. The Mill Pub is to be demolished.
7. Netto will be the 'George' dept.
8. The road through Langley Mill be will opened on Tuesday 10th August - yes, it made me laugh too.

And now on to much better and far less boring things ... I've bought myself a brand new toy - and just look what it can do ...

Yes - it can bend fences ... Int it terrific? And it's got 20x zoom, ha ha - there's nowhere left to hide ...

Back Home To Large Piles and Big Jams

Well, we've had mountains on the front and now we have hillocks on the back. It seems that RG Group are yet again rearranging piles of earth and now stashing them behind us - which means that as well as construction noise on the front, there's 'let's unload this and shove it here' noise [from before 7.30am] on the back, it's relentless - bleep-bloody-bleep - it's as bad [if not worse] as when H-effin-H and their pain-in-the-arse buddies were here!

So, as a complete change from living in the middle of a scrap yard, we now live in the middle of a building site whinge, whinge, moan.

They've now put the sides on the Asda building, it's not what you'd call pretty - yet, and my view of the back end of Netto has gone, I'm really, really sad about that - not. But, oh boo hoo, there's hardly any trees to be seen.

We went shopping to Eastwood on Saturday and when we came back were astonished to see the queue of cars trying to get onto the bypass. The queue extended as far as I could see down Upper Dunstead Road [as we flashed past at 30mph]. I have to wonder if people had been made aware that anything van sized or less could get out of the bottom of Cromford Road [turning left] all weekend. We noticed that there wasn't much traffic coming our way so can only assume that it was either a brand new idea or a big secret.

Having since been that way around whilst visiting friends, the fact that Cromford Road was open had obviously been Langley Mill's best kept secret - or a mistake - as the signs still stated that Cromford Road was only open at peak times of 5.30pm - 9.30am - and the road was indeed closed again this morning. Tut, still a case of nobody telling anybody else what's going on - and I can't be relied upon to relay information because ... well, I'm unreliable at the best of times ...

Asda Langley Mill Opening

Asda's new [24 hour] store in Langley Mill opens Monday November 8th 2010 - just after my birthday. You'd think with me being such a, ahem, loyal advocate of theirs, they'd let me open it wouldn't you? No ... oh well it was just a thought ...

Langley Mill's Temporary Road Diversions

Go to www.asdalangleymill.co.uk/home for their latest update on traffic management [and a link to a nice little map]. Asda clearly lay the blame for the inept TM system at the door of Derbyshire County Council. They also say the roadworks will last for 8-10 weeks.

And before Asda and RG Group think they're getting off scot free in this latest moan; they can think again. Why have they decided to start work most days from 7.15 in the mornings, instead of the Council guidelines of 8.00am - or is this just a case of tit for tat with the council?

Oh dear ... RG Group have now passed through 'noisy gits' status and are hovering between the 'pains in the arse' and 'ignorant sods' categories - tut tut, they have slipped a long way down in my 'considerate to the community' ratings - and they were doing so well a couple of months ago

I suppose to be honest, I'd be a little more peeved at the early morning noise if I'd actually been at home listening to it myself. But seeing as we left Langley Mill for our tin hut by the sea at 5.30am on Monday July 5th - oops ... before my traffic updates [ha ha] - I'm obviously writing this in sympathy for my friends and neighbours who have had to put up with Asda's construction noise all day, every day ...

Badger Watch At Skegness

Last time we were at 'the manor' the grumpy old man looked through the one of the lounge windows at 12.20am and was astonished to see a badger. I - being me - went out for a close up view of them, fortunately they didn't see me because of their poor eyesight and twinkle-toes that I am, they didn't hear me. But I have to ask myself why I did this barefoot considering how many slugs were in the vicinity - ugh, the thought of it now makes me shudder but at the time I just didn't notice.

Of course my camera which has always completely baffled me with it's various settings, ensured that I didn't manage to get any photos that night - unless you count the fuzzy grey and black blobs. I should really have been ready for this event after an owl posed nicely a couple of years ago for five whole minutes with not one recognisable photograph to show for it.

Anyway, I stayed up until 1.00am for the next two nights - yawn - armed with my now tweaked and beaten into submission Samsung L830 - and yes, I read a few instructions after downloading the manual [this has to be a first, I don't do instructions] - no badgers, but the fox made an appearance each time.

Oooer, I've just put the news on to see that they've stopped the badger cull in Wales [I'm waiting for the Asda traffic bit in Langley Mill]. I can hardly believe the coincidence, I've been going to write this for weeks and finally got around to it today - spooky, but I mean ... well bugger! that was to be one of my grumpy bits.

I'm a bit sort of deflated now albeit extremely happy for the badgers. Sorry farmers, there must be another way of controlling bovine TB rather than killing our indigenous wildlife. It's not like they're premeditatedly schmoozing up to cows and deliberately infecting them now is it?

I'd read about the proposed badger cull when I was searching on-line for what to feed them [apparently they like honey sandwiches and peanuts], and decided there and then that this was something I could and would be grumpy about in my badger post, I mean it's not even been proved that culling badgers significantly decreases the cases of bovine TB.

Even worse, I also read about badger baiting - against my own advice [because I know I won't sleep thinking about it] - where supposed human beings [trash] find bizarre entertainment in setting dogs onto badgers, not once but twice, first they drag them out in the day to thoroughly traumatize them with a good shaking, then again later to be ripped apart - all good fun isn't it? SICK BASTARDS! - and I make no apologies for swearing.

Right back to my badger watch - on the third night we were treated to not one but two badgers, who obligingly posed for my camera. Although their eyesight is poor, the same can't be said for their hearing, it's very sharp which is a bit of a bugger because the grumpy old man doesn't know how to whisper, sending them dashing off as soon as he opens his mouth.

I tapped on the window of the caravan next door every time the badgers had settled down to eat [they were still up, we don't do early to bed around here], but even that gentle tapping sent the badgers running so our neighbours didn't get to see them in the flesh until the fourth night.

The badgers came every night after that munching on a handful of peanuts that we'd spread out, it was probably dropped bird seed next to the fence that had attracted them in the first place. One night alas, I missed a potentially fantastic photo of a fox and badger face to face. But my nosy cat sitting on the windowsill, started an odd growling and the fox turned back the way it came, funnily enough she sits quietly for ages watching the badgers but has a hissy fit whenever the fox passes by.

We consider ourselves very privileged to have seen - and heard - the badgers and hope they come often to give us more late night viewing. We're lucky to have the many birds, ducks, rabbits and squirrels visiting during the days, and now the badgers at night. Our family and friends have suggested that we keep feeding them to make sure they get to see them when they stay at 'the manor' with us.

Hmm, In view of all this 'free' entertainment, I may have to start charging more board for our select lodgings [yeah, yeah, we've already done the tin shack in an old turnip field bit] in a wildlife reserve. So, may I suggest that as well as the customary charge of a box of teabags and bag of sugar - you bring your own nuts ...

Langley Mill's Traffic Management Improvements - Thanks To Our Wonderful COUNCIL

And if you believe that title you'll believe anything.

There was a moderate improvement this morning, people were able to get out from the bottom of Cromford Road, round the lights at KFC/Lidl and back through Langley Mill, rather than having to add to the queue at Lower Dunstead Road [info courtesy of my neighbour, who also makes all the phone calls].

Things were also quieter getting onto the bypass from Aldercar [info courtesy of June]. Let's hope this continues. As she also says, people were probably leaving home earlier so journeys were staggered rather than everyone bogging down the crappy diversion system at the same time. This could have been done from day one if people had been properly made aware.

The council really were not interested in sorting out this mess, Langley Mill has always been regarded with an 'Oh it's only Langley Mill, it doesn't matter' attitude by the council, probably down to our industrial past and our Nottinghamshire postcode - I'm all for dragging the border back a bit and jumping counties.

It's only down to RG Group's construction manager that any improvements have been made at all - and these concessions were grudgingly given.

Trent Barton - the information on your website is still back to front as to which way is straight through Langley Mill.

I really must do some work now or I won't be able to afford to pay my council tax ...

Update on Langley Mill's 'Minimal Delays'

Right, first of all:

It's no use blaming Asda or RG Group for the traffic chaos in and around Langley Mill, although you're free to do so if you like, but it seems their hands are tied by 'them what know better' - Highways Agency or Derbyshire County Council, as the work is their responsibility [or so I've read].

Apparently there may be a couple of concessions made regards the end of Cromford Road being opened at peak times - I only say 'may'.

Things should be improved at the bottom of Dunstead Road regards parked cars causing an obstruction, cones have been placed and the owners offered alternative parking.

Other than that, things remain the same mess ... Remember Eastwood to Heanor - direct route, Heanor to Eastwood - interesting detour. Cromford Road etc - hard luck - no bus - no escape - start digging a tunnel.

I was peeved about my lack of residents newsletter, I know they often arrive dated the day after the job commences but this was a biggy for everyone concerned. Apologies have been made and accepted so we're happy again. Just as long as we get our newsletter at the top of the street first next time - and printed on watermarked paper with gilt edging.

You know, I think it's time I stuck to my day job and left this to someone else - someone who is paid to know what they're talking about. Rather than little old me - a lovely, sweet, grumpy lady ... All right, own up - who just called me 'a nosy old bag' ? ...